In whatever way you can, try to focus on your well-being. whether it is getting some free time to meet a friend or see a therapist. If you can afford it, get childcare or ask family for help. If that is not possible, find time around your kids to get some self-care.
Mansi Poddar, a trauma-informed Psychotherapist shares, “As a mom, I can safely say – this is partly possible due to the patriarchal culture we live in. Many women would love to do self-care and take time for themselves but due to their family structures and type of husbands, they are unable too. Many men believe that just because they work, a woman’s job is the kids and household. What they don’t realise is that this is a 24/7 job while theirs is not. Many men take time for their self-care- sports, meeting people, travelling, etc while women at home have to shoulder the responsibility of caregiving and overseeing in-laws and children. We need to talk to men and families about providing the support women need to parent well. A stressed unhappy mother will result in stressed unhappy children.”
After that, she added, “In families, women need to take a strong stand if possible, and say they need their time. Many women don’t do that for fear of offending or being judged. This is where they get stuck. We Indian women have to start getting comfortable saying no and being disliked for our choices. The more we tow patriarchy’s line the more we are pushed down. I see this with many women clients who are rushed and stressed out. Even sleep is a luxury for them. A large part of this is – obeying the husband and in-laws. If it’s physically safe for you, please start to self-advocate and put your foot down. Boundaries and needs need to be vocalised.”
Further, she mentioned that self-care is not doing more but rather doing less and following the body. I never tell clients to work out or do XYZ, I ask them to start working on a relationship with themselves which eventually guides a self-care practice. There is no greater care than allowing the body food rest or movement when it needs it.
